FAQ: What's a Mezuzah?

Question: I noticed that my Jewish boyfriend's parents have a little metal thing attached on the diagonal at the entrance door to their apartment. What is that?
Toni from Chicago

Answer: Toni, that's a mezuzah. You'll see on attached to the right side (as you enter) doorpost of most Jewish homes. It is placed there in accordance with the commandment in Deuteronomy to inscribe the words of the Shema, the most important Jewish prayer, which begins "Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one....," "on the doorposts of your houses."
The little case may be made of metal, wood, clay--any material, really. The important part is the parchment scroll on which the prayer has been handwritten by a specially trained scribe (sofer).
The Mezuzah is placed slantwise because one famous medieval rabbi wanted it placed vertically, while another preferred horizontally, so a compromise was decided upon! Another interpretation says that pointing the top towards the interior symbolizes that God and his commandments are entering the home.
Often you will see Jews touch the mezuzah and then kiss their fingers, just as they do when they touch the Torah scroll in synagogue. They do this to remind themselves of their love of God and His mitzvoh (commandments).
I think it's nifty that the Chabad Lubavitcher sect of Judaism calls the Mezuzah "the Jewish security system."

Should You Convert?

Should you convert? I didn't.

When Fred and I married, neither he nor his parents put any pressure on me to convert. I'm sure it would have made them happy, but I didn't want to hurt my parents, who were devout Methodists. Besides, my personal history as a Methodist Youth camper, a choir singer, and an angel in the Christmas pageant (big step up from the chenille bathrobe clad shepherd of the first few years), was part of my identity, even though I had parted ways with religion and become an agnostic.

Now, years later, through osmosis, I feel very close to the Jewish people, Jewish culture, and Jewish causes. I realize that I was at fault for failing to contribute much to my boys' Jewish education. I couldn't, because I was ignorant. Well, I did put on a nice Passover seder and--like Caroline Kennedy--made good matzoh balls, but I didn't make enough of an effort to learn about Judaism. (Hence, www.Shiksapedia.com!)

My friend Larry Epstein, a fine author of many books and articles, most of which are on Jewish subjects, referred me to material on conversion he has contributed which is available on Conversion to Judaism Home Page . Larry became interested in conversion when he heard that converts are sometimes viewed as second class citizens. This wonderful site has useful articles on the conversion process, how to tell people about your conversion, real stories on converts, and many other topics.

In future postings I am hoping to feature stories of women who have converted. Please leave a comment if you have an idea or a story to share. Thanks!

FAQ: What are Jews for Jesus?

Question: I've seen an organization called Jews for Jesus on street corners, and I've been curious but reluctant to stop and ask. What is it? I enjoy your blog, by the way. Sincerely, Carrie

Answer: Carrie, thank you for your question! I never stop either, but my husband, who likes to argue, will hang out with them if he's in the mood for a good harangue.
Although the group says that it encourages its members to observe Jewish tradition, it is actually an evangelical Christian group dedicated to converting Jews. It is certainly not recognized as Jewish by either Reform, Conservative, or Orthodox Jews. It was begun in the 1970's by a Baptist minister named Rosen who was Jewish by birth but converted to Christianity when he was 17.

FAQ: What are "Tzitzit"?

Question: Last week I heard a reference to a shawl that is sometimes worn by practitioners called a "sit sits"? I'm writing to ask you if you can describe this shawl and its tradition, and of course the correct spelling. Regards, Bill

Dear Bill,
Thank you so much for your question!
Answer: According to the very useful site Judaism 101 //www.jewfaq.org/signs.htm, tzitzit commonly refers to the white fringed undergarment worn daily by male orthodox Jews. The undergarment's intricately knotted fringes, which hang down below the wearer's shirt, are to be a reminder to follow the approximately 613 commandments. (I like the way the www.Chabad.org site refers to the fringes as "The forget-me-knot-knots.")
Another use of the word is to refer to the fringes worn on the corners of the tallit (also spelled tallis), or prayer shawl. The prayer shawl, used in daily prayers as well as in synagogue worship, is worn by Conservative and Orthodox men. It is optional in many Reform congregations.
I just read a fine anecdote about the prayer shawl in Leo Rosten's The Joy of Yiddish. (To appreciate it you need to know that a traditional, or observant, Jew is buried with his tallit.)

It seems that a rabbi was passing a house from which he heard a faint sobbing. Pushing open the door, he found no one at home. Finally he traced the sound as coming from a bureau drawer, which he then opened.
"Little tallis, little tallis, why are you crying?" asked the rabbi.
The prayer shawl replied that his master had gone off on a trip, taking his wife and children, and leaving the poor little tallis to cry alone.
"Ah, little tallis," sgned the rabbi, "do not cry. One day soon your master will take you on a trip, only you, and leave all of them behind."

FAQ:What's a Bar Mitzvah?

Question: What's a bar mitzvah and what do I wear to one? What do I give?

Answer: I'm glad you asked. I just returned from a wonderful bar mitzvah in St. Louis. Cousin Susie, whose son Nathan was bar mitzvahed, gave me permission to reprint this description of the event from the program:
Bar Mitzvah literally means "son of the commandment." Technically, the term refers to the child who is coming of age. In accordance with the laws of Judaism, the age of thirteen is when a young man is considered old enough to be responsible for following the mitzvot, or commandments of Jewish life. The bar mitzvah ceremony formally marks the beginning of adulthood along with the right to take part in leading religious services.
Every week, Jewish congregations around the world read the identical Torah passages. In this way, Nathan is linked beyond those of us here in St. Louis at Temple Israel congregation to the entire world's community of Jewish people.
The reading of the Torah is quite challenging, as no vowels, punctuation or musical notes are actually written in the Torah. Following his reading of the Torah, Nathan will read from the Haftorah, commentary from the prophets related to the theme of his Torah portion, and then present his Bar Mitzvah address to the congregation.

A bar mitzvah, which occurs on or around the boy's thirteenth birthday, usually consists of a synagogue service and then a big party. My friend Diana points out that at age thirteen a boy is not always at his most suave and confident, so having his friends and family fuss over him as though he's even bigger than Michael Phelps probably gives him a wonderful boost (not to mention all the great gifts he gets). The parties can get as elaborate as Jewish weddings--which is to say, wow--and for a hilarious look at some over-the-top bar mitzvahs you must rent the DVD Keeping Up with the Steins. It's a hoot! and you'll learn a lot.
The Reform service which we attended lasted about an hour and a half. (Services at Conservative and Orthodox congregations might be longer--I just don't remember.) Having studied Hebrew and Jewish history and tradition since he was nine, Nathan was well prepared to take his part in the service. He chanted the Hebrew scripture reading and also a passage from the prophets, and then he gave a speech in English. People wore the same type of clothing as you would find in church. Some men wore skullcaps ("kippot" and "yarmulke" are the names for them) but it was not required. There were light refreshments outside the sanctuary afterwards, and then we all went back to the hotel to get dolled up for the party, where there is usually lots of drinking, eating, and dancing. What gift do you give? On the east coast, where I live, we give money tucked in a bar mitzvah card. We give somewhat less than we'd give at a wedding, but still a lot. Hopefully you'll know someone else who's invited so you can ask, as the recommended amounts probably vary from region to region, and of course they vary depending on how close your relationship is to the family of the bar or bat mitzvah person. Plus, as you probably know, some guests have a formula for giving based partly on how much we're guessing the family is spending on the celebration. (Is this tacky? I guess the idea is that we're all helping to pay for our suppers.)
The equivalent ceremony for girls, called the bat mitzvah, occurs in the girl's twelfth year, when she too is called to read the Torah before the congregation (except for Orthodox girls; women attend Orthodox services but do not read in front of the congregation). All Jewish girls, whether Orthodox, Conservative, or Reform, are considered bat mitzvahed when they reach the appropriate age, and often their families give a celebratory party similar to one for a bar mitzvah.
The Hebrew words "Mazel Tov!" mean "Congratulations," and you will hear them said a lot. You can say them too!