Review: Shiksa Syndrome

Laurie Graf's new Manhattan-set chick lit novel has the twist that a Jewish single, accidentally taken for a shiksa by a handsome Jewish guy, follows through with the deception in order to make him fall in love with her. Which he does.
And we all know the outcome: she learns "to thine own self be true"--blah, blah, blah--and she'll live happily ever after. Married. Jewish. End of story.
I thought that this cute plot (the shenanigans and twists of which are carried on ad nauseum, unfortunately) would be a fun way for me and my readers to get familiar with many Jewish customs. There's even a helpful little glossary in the back which is helping me finally get "kiddish" and "kiddush" sorted out.
But the book is annoying me. All the good characters are either Jewish or in the process of converting.
And the book is upsetting me. It says that shiksas are attractive to Jewish men because of the following:
we are sweet
we don't threaten or challenge
we aren't bossy
we don't say much
we're not analytical
we're not Mom
we look like Barbie.
And I'm wondering if I'm upset because it's true. (Except for the Barbie part.)

Book Review: Inside Intermarriage

The subtitle of this book by Jim Keen is informative: "A Christian Partner's Perspective on Raising a Jewish Family." Here's an excerpt from the preface:
"...before we know it, wedding plans emerge. And then, suddenly, the questions arise. What are we going to tell our parents? What kind of a ceremony are we going to have? Who is going to marry us? In what religion do we raise the children? How will we celebrate the holidays? Which ones? Yours or mine? Finally, how can each of us keep our own identity amongst all this give and take? It's not easy."
If you and your Jewish partner plan to raise your children Jewish, this book will help you understand the enormity of the undertaking. Nevertheless, the author is the children's father, and however much he participates (and he participates a lot) in holiday observances, schlepping the kids to Hebrew school, etc., it is usually the mother--that will be you-- who bears most of the responsibility for the children's Jewish education.
What is unusual about this book is that it is written from the perspective of a devout Christian. The intermarried couples I know are not very religious, although they often choose to have their sons and daughters bar or bat mitzvahed, and the Protestant or Catholic shiksa (in my own case, Protestant) had not been actively practicing her religion. The author spends a lot of time and energy helping his wife and daughters celebrate Jewish holidays and traditions; then he goes off to church by himself, except for major holidays, when they come along to show respect. It seems to me that he has to give up a good deal of his identity and status, but clearly he, his wife, and children have a close, loving relationship that works for them.
URJ Press, a Reform house, published this paperback in 2006. You can find it at Amazon.com for around $16 (new).

Book Review:What to Do When You're Dating a Jew

In What to Do When You're Dating a Jew, two nice and very funny Jewish girls, Vikki Weiss and Jennifer A. Block, attempt to "keep you from ordering a ham and cheese sandwich in a kosher deli or planning a party to celebrate the Jewish New Year. Think of it as a little advance warning about what you are getting into by dating a Jew. You'll thank us later."
I wish I could have read it many years ago when I fell in love with Fred, but alas--or rather, oy veh--this delightful book wasn't published until 2000. If you want to learn a lot and laugh until your kishkes hurt, it's Must Reading. The authors can be irreverent and politically incorrect in a way we shiksas never could, even if we knew the stuff, which we don't, which is why we need the book.... For example, in the chapter on holidays they write, "Some may be disappointed that the High Holy Days have nothing to do with marijuana. These same people will take comfort in learning that there is a big feast at the end. But you've got to suffer a little to get there."
Have you ever wondered if synagogue, temple, and shul are the same? Weiss and Block explain it all for you: "Orthodox Jews usually use the word shul. Conservative Jews say they are going to synagogue. Reform Jews go to temple, but not often."
This breezy how-to-fit-in book doesn't tackle very serious issues such as conversion, spirituality, and morality. Sprinkled with recipes, anecdotes, and jokes, What to Do When You're Dating a Jew introduces you to holidays, jewish food, and the major stages and rituals in Jewish life, love, and death. So read it already!